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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28502265">That Beautiful Soul</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Umbry2000/pseuds/Umbry2000'>Umbry2000</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Tales of Symphonia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - His Dark Materials Fusion, Angst, Daemon Feels, Daemon Separation (Kinda), Daemon Settling (Also Kinda), Daemons, F/M, Gen, Happy Ending, Noishe unfortunately did not make the cut, Otherwise doesn't break canon, Same-Sex Daemons, The Colloyd bias is very evident, much angst</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 18:07:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,705</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28502265</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Umbry2000/pseuds/Umbry2000</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A person's Dæmon is said to represent one's very self. But does your Dæmon fully define who you are? What does their presence, their form, mean?</p><p>(Original canon with the inclusion of Dæmons from His Dark Materials)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Anna/Kratos Aurion, Colette Brunel/Lloyd Irving, Kratos Aurion &amp; Lloyd Irving, Regal Bryant &amp; Presea Combatir, Sheena Fujibayashi/Zelos Wilder, Yuan Ka-Fai/Martel Yggdrasill</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is something that came out of an idea ping-pong session with my friends @<a href="https://twitter.com/itsraeningcats">itsraeningcats</a> and @<a href="https://twitter.com/okami_kunn">okami_kunn</a> and is a rewrite of original canon with the inclusion of Dæmons. If you're not aware of what a Dæmon is, it is an element of His Dark Material's world. A Dæmon is essentially the representation, or extension, of a person's soul. A Dæmon, at childhood, can take on the form of any animal and morph freely at will. Once a person matures, their Dæmon will settle permanently into a single form which is said to represent the person's personality. (Honestly this probably isn't very accurate to His Dark Materials) Unfortunately, Noishe had to be cut because his existence makes zero sense in this AU. Corinne is still included, but only as a single line mention and in a really awkward manner because of his importance to the original canon. </p><p>Basically, this is very similar to the Hanahaki fic I wrote but explores what characters think of themselves through their Dæmons instead and the stereotypes society automatically applies to them. Have fun :D</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>A Dæmon represents everything about you. Your darkest secrets, every sin that you’ve ever committed, will be free to see in the form that your Dæmon takes. A Dæmon is an extension of your soul, and it will show everything.</i>
</p>
<p>Zelos thought it was quite a lot to shove on a young child and his Dæmon. The insinuation that Martha’s final form would dictate the person he became, and would pretty much decide every action he would ever take in the future. A little unfair, wasn't it?</p>
<p>The Church’s priests expected his Dæmon to become some grand animal, like every other member in the Mana Lineage. His Father’s Dæmon had been a tiger. Majestic, sure, but no less interested in Zelos and Martha than Zelos’ father had been. </p>
<p>His Mother’s Dæmon had been a cat. A tabby cat, to be precise, and an extremely overweight one at that. Maybe he had once thought his Mother’s Dæmon had been cute and nurturing. He was sure most of Meltokio’s high society thought the same. That tabby cat could conduct itself extremely regally if it wanted to, reinforcing the same facade that his Mother did. His parents’ unshakeable pride meant that no other option was acceptable.</p>
<p>But that image had long shattered for him the moment his mother’s Dæmon had struck out at him. Angry, red claw marks had been left behind not just on Martha, but on himself. That taboo about a Dæmon touching another person… His Mother’s Dæmon had overcome it easily through the strength of their combined hatred. </p>
<p>And so Zelos determined he would prove the priests wrong, just to spite them and this whole cruel world. Martha wouldn’t and <i>didn’t</i> want to settle as a lion or a tiger, and was just as eager to piss off the priests and the entirety of high society. They would leave the choice up to fate.</p>
<p>Martha settling as a snake did cause everyone else to shut up. After all, a snake wasn’t befitting of the Chosen. The Chosen was someone in the favour of Martel herself, who would help lead Tethealla into greater glory. How was it that the Chosen’s Dæmon was something as deceptive as a poisonous reptile? It couldn’t possibly be true. </p>
<p>The priests didn’t like it, but Zelos wasn’t about to change himself for them. And so life went on, with no one addressing what everyone surely thought was a strange Dæmon. </p>
<p>That didn’t stop the whispers behind Zelos’ back, so he did what he did best. He built his Dæmon’s form into a mysterious persona and made use of it to pursue girls, even as his heart ached for only one. A girl with a fiery spirit and a wildcat as a Dæmon, so different from the tabby cat he’d known in childhood. </p>
<p>He’d pushed her away in the hopes of saving her from further pain. Zelos knew that he’d only ever hurt the people around him, and Martha agreed. Isn’t that what her form meant? Better to break his own heart than risk those of others. </p>
<p>It was years later that fate would come through in the end. Deception and betrayal. Martha’s form had been a prophecy from the very beginning. There was no escaping it. </p>
<p>And he and Martha would share one last hysterical laugh in the safety of his room in the Wilder Manor, awaiting the beginning of the end. One way or another, Sheena and Martin would hate them. </p>
<p>He and Martha would be accomplices and companions to the bitter end.</p><hr/>
<p>Colette had never known life without Pan by her side. </p>
<p>Pan was her constant companion in the way that Dæmons were meant to be. An extension of her soul and a being that was closer than a friend, for they were someone who had been there since you were brought into the world. </p>
<p>He knew all her deepest secrets, for he experienced much the same. The deep sense of yearning within her heart that refused to be squashed down at night, the tears she shed silently into the pillow while cradling Pan to her heart, and the terrible guilt that filled her when she told Lloyd goodbye, knowing she would never come back. </p>
<p>Pan would always be there. She was glad to know, even if it was selfish, that there would be someone with her when she died. And that someone understood the terrible regret she felt over all those she would leave behind. All she could do was go with a smile on her face, holding her happiest memories close to her heart. Memories of times spent with her family, with her friends, and with Lloyd. </p>
<p>Colette was glad, at least, that Pan had settled as a hummingbird when she was 14. It was one aspect of a normal life that she had been able to experience before she died. </p>
<p>Why a hummingbird? Colette didn’t know the reason behind Pan’s final form, only that it must somehow represent herself. That was what a Dæmon was. </p>
<p>Pan had always favoured small creatures. Sugar gliders, mice, frogs… It wasn’t surprising that he’d settled as a hummingbird. The villagers had told her it fit her. Hummingbirds were animals that represent love and joy. </p>
<p>She had simply smiled in response. Her facade had been working, then. No one saw anything but happiness and no one had unearthed the sadness buried beneath.</p>
<p>It only made her cry harder in the dead of night.</p>
<p>Until there were no more tears to cry, for the Angelic transformation had taken those away as well. So she would spend the nights, no longer able to sleep, gently stroking Pan’s feathers although neither of them could feel it anymore. Just another thing that had been taken from Pan because of his bond to her. They would talk, until even that was taken from them, about anything and everything but the ascent into the Tower of Salvation that was looming upon them.</p>
<p>Until finally there was nothing else to discuss, and they would once again confide in each other the fears that nestled deep within her heart. That somehow she would fail to act as a proper Chosen, that somehow she would let down her friends, new and old, and that - </p>
<p>That she would break Lloyd’s heart. Lloyd, who loved with all of his heart, and Arielle, strong and brave. She was glad to be able to enjoy their company for just a little bit longer, but at the same time, it meant that she would have to leave them both behind again. Would they hate her and Pan? Would Lloyd ever be able to forgive her? </p>
<p>Not that it mattered. Maybe it would be better if he hated her forever. Better than for him to grieve over her. Better for him to move on together with Arielle. No matter how much it would hurt her… But she wouldn’t be alive to feel that anymore. She would have given her life for a better Sylvarant, one where those she loved could live freely. </p>
<p>What she and Pan felt didn’t matter.</p><hr/>
<p>“Pan! <i>Please, stop running!” Colette screamed, soaked to the bone with the rain. She stumbled blindly over the forest path, pushing her way through leaves and sharp branches that scratched at her arms. But that pain was minute compared to the rope currently looped tightly along her heart, squeezing and getting tighter by the minute. She knew if she let it get any tighter, it would rip out her heart. </i></p>
<p>
  <i>Pan had leapt off her palms as a sugar glider just moments ago, disappearing into the forest with the rain pattering down all around them, leaving her shocked and stunned before she gave chase.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Colette stumbled into a clearing, falling to her knees. Her hands and arms were cut and bleeding, but she didn’t care. She whipped her head around blindly, hair falling into her eyes and shivering from the cold. Pan. Where was he?</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>The string around her heart led Colette to squeeze herself into a log, crawling through the small, cramped space with relative ease. She was small for her age of 10. Lloyd wouldn’t be able to fit in here.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>The thought of Lloyd made her flinch, recalling the words the priests at the Church of Martel had uttered.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Finally, finally, she was able to wrap her hands around Pan. He was now in the form of a hummingbird, shivering in a tiny ball of waterlogged feathers.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>The storm was cold around them, but Pan was warm in her hands.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“I’m sorry,” Pan muttered. “It must have hurt for you too. I shouldn’t have done it.”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Colette shushed him, gently smoothing out his feathers. “It’s OK.”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Is this what it’ll feel like when you become an angel?” Pan asked, morphing into a squirrel and wrapping his tail around her neck. The question only revived all the emotions she had buried since she had learned the fate that was destined for her. “Like I’m being ripped apart from the inside?”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“I don’t know,” Colette whispered, tears brimming in the corner of her eyes. “I don’t -”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“I don’t want to die. I don’t - I don’t want to leave Arielle behind. I don’t want to hurt them, I don’t want them to feel like this - like everything’s coming to an end and your heart is being destroyed from the inside -”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“I know,” Colette choked on her tears, cradling Pan closer to her chest. “I’m sorry.”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Because that’s all she can say to her Dæmon. The only thing she could ever do was apologise, for she could not avoid her fate. It was both of their duties to sacrifice themselves for Sylvarant.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Perhaps it's what Pan wanted, always favouring birds. The desire to escape and fly away, except he couldn’t, for he was chained to her forever. It had not been her desire to do so, but she had doomed her Dæmon to die along with her.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Would it feel this way for those she would leave behind? She didn’t want to put Lloyd through that. Like one’s soul was being destroyed. That would be how she and Pan felt, and she didn’t want to put anyone else through it.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>But there was nothing, nothing she could do.</i>
</p><hr/>
<p>Pan. That name… It was the name of Colette’s mother’s Dæmon. Pan had never met his namesake, for the sole reason that Colette’s mother had died in childbirth. The name had been given to him by Julia, Frank’s Dæmon, following the long-held tradition of parents' Dæmons naming their child's Dæmon.</p>
<p>It meant just another responsibility that Pan had to carry. The hopes and dreams of Colette’s mother and her Dæmon rested on his back. It was a burden he had carried since his birth, and a duty he had always been destined to fail. </p>
<p>After all, what mother wouldn’t want their child to live their best life? Sacrificing oneself didn’t seem to fit the bill. </p>
<p>But he wasn’t about to tell Colette that. She held enough of a burden as it was, prepared to fling her own life away like it was completely worthless. Pan was the only one who understood what she was going through and the only one she could confide in. He wouldn’t add on to that burden. The one time he had tried to run away, it had felt like his heart was being ripped straight from his chest. It was the worst pain he had ever felt, and he knew that he’d put Colette through the same thing. It was unforgivable. </p>
<p>But still, what he had said that rainy night was true. Pan didn’t want to die. He didn’t want to leave behind all the friends he had made. Timothy and Arielle... They’d be devastated in the same way that Lloyd and Genis would be once they knew Colette was gone. </p>
<p>Pan, more than anything, didn’t want to leave Arielle behind. Arielle, with her boundless energy and courage, accurately represented by the dog she had permanently settled as. Who loved to chase Pan around in impromptu games of tag that she always won. </p>
<p>Pan never minded. Arielle was amazing company, and she didn’t mind how shy he was all the time. Before his settling, she had always encouraged him to try to morph into larger animals. Pan knew she meant well, but it was just something he was never comfortable with. He associated dogs and wolves with bravery, and he… he was nothing more than a weakling and a coward. He can’t save Colette. </p>
<p>Perhaps that’s why he settled as a hummingbird. Tiny and powerless. </p>
<p>He can’t change anything. All he can do is stay by Colette’s side, always. Be her emotional support, her closest friend, and the one who will die with her.</p>
<p>And, for now, he would simply enjoy the warmth of Arielle’s fur. </p><hr/>
<p>Arielle had, technically, been the first one to meet Colette. All she had been trying to do was jump from tree to tree as a cat while an exasperated seven-year-old Lloyd had chased after her on the ground, asking her to get down before she hurt herself.</p>
<p>Inevitably, Arielle had slipped. And fallen straight into the arms of a startled six-year-old, staring down at the Dæmon in her arms that was not her own with wide blue eyes. </p>
<p>It had been a strange feeling, to be touched by a person other than Lloyd. Arielle had very quickly learned that people were not meant to touch others' Dæmons. Dirk had made that taboo very clear when she’d sidled up to him as a polecat, with Marie the mole looking particularly unimpressed. </p>
<p>What had followed had been an admonishment from Marie that had lasted 30 minutes. Arielle, who had been sulking at the time, retained little. What stuck with her was how no person was allowed to touch you other than your counterpart. It was the grossest violation that existed, almost like the desecration of a person’s soul. Arielle knew it was serious, so she had stopped trying to jump on people’s heads for fun.</p>
<p>The girl that Arielle would soon learn was called Colette had, as gingerly as possible, placed Arielle on the ground. Then she had backed away quickly, both her and her Dæmon apologising profusely. Pan had been morphing extremely quickly, to the point that Arielle hadn’t been able to pin down a single form. It had been a clear sign of both Colette’s and Pan’s nervousness. </p>
<p>Arielle had been frozen in shock. It… hadn’t felt earth-shatteringly wrong to be held by someone else. She had only ever known Lloyd’s touch, and Colette’s touch had not been… unwelcome.</p>
<p>Lloyd had run up by that point, and Arielle supposed the rest was history. None of them ever really brought up the incident again. It was the one thing Arielle had never disclosed to Lloyd, and she didn’t quite know how she felt about the whole thing.</p>
<p>Dæmons, however, were allowed to mingle amongst themselves, so Pan was fair game. Arielle loved spending time with Pan. She supposed it was inevitable, given that Lloyd was so close to Colette. Two people who were close friends would naturally have two Dæmons who were close to each other, or they wouldn’t have been compatible, to begin with. But Arielle liked Pan for who he was: always fussing over others, but yet incredibly shy.</p>
<p>It was why she constantly encouraged him to morph into larger animals by constantly engaging Pan in her little games. Arielle had never really succeeded in her objective, but at least Pan seemed to be having fun. </p>
<p>And that made Arielle happy, for Pan was always so reserved. If she could help him relax just a little bit, then she was glad. But what exactly was it that always made Pan seem so tired? She wanted to know, but Lloyd didn’t want to push. </p>
<p>In the end, Pan had settled as a hummingbird. And Arielle thought that fit him. Her heart always felt like it was fluttering whenever she was near him, and she was certain that Lloyd felt the same about Colette. A Dæmon almost always felt the same way as their counterpart.</p>
<p>Even if it was something too embarrassing to discuss.</p>
<p>And even if a hummingbird was small, it had a hidden strength. A bird that could flap its wings so quickly that it could still fly, even with its small size. A hidden strength that Arielle was certain both Colette and Pan possessed.</p>
<p>But still, Arielle wanted to protect Pan. She wanted to be able to protect all those she loved, whether it be a person or a Dæmon. Colette had laughed when she’d seen Arielle’s final form as a dog and commented that it fit both of them. Loyalty, bravery and a protector. That was what Colette had said. Arielle hoped that meant she could better protect others.</p>
<p>There was one other reason Arielle had always favoured dogs and wolves. </p>
<p>Pan knew where his name had come from. But all Arielle could remember of Lloyd’s parents was the warmth of being enveloped in fur that was not her own and the cheery chirps of a bird, always arranged into a melodious song. She could not remember who had named her.</p>
<p>Arielle liked to think that, by permanently taking the form of a dog, she was just that one bit closer to the parents who were no longer by their side. </p>
<p>She hoped that was able to bring Lloyd just the slightest bit of comfort. </p><hr/>
<p>
  <i>Lloyd stood frozen, watching as the girl with golden hair gently set Arielle on the ground.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Dad had always taught him that he should never let anyone touch his Dæmon. The pain would be excruciating for both him and Arielle, Dad had warned, like someone had reached straight into his soul and twisted.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>But what Lloyd felt now was nothing like that. It simply felt… warm. Like he was being cradled gently as well. He didn’t know how to characterise how he felt.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Perhaps it was because the girl meant no harm?</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>It was then that Arielle ran up to his feet, breaking Lloyd out of his trance.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>He would dwell on that moment for years to come, even though he and Arielle would never discuss what happened. What, exactly, had he been feeling?</i>
</p><hr/>
<p>
  <i>Lloyd watched Arielle, having morphed into a labrador, pin Pan to the ground. “Sorry, Colette,” he sighed. “I don’t know why she’s being so unruly right now.”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“It’s fine, Lloyd. If Pan doesn’t mind, then there isn’t a problem,” Colette muttered. “They’ll be settling soon, won’t they? You’re turning 14 next week…”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“I’m not too worried. I’ll just let nature take its course.” Lloyd shrugged, mind wandering to what Dad will serve for dinner that night. “Why do Dæmons need to settle anyway?” </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Because one day, everyone grows up. And we stop changing.” Maybe if Lloyd had paid attention at that moment, he would have seen the faraway look on Colette’s face.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>But he’s preoccupied watching Pan run by and resisting the urge to reach out, even for just the slightest of moments.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Curiosity filled him. What would it feel like to touch Pan, just like Colette had once touched Arielle?</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>But still, he pulled his hand back, knowing it would be wrong. “What did you say?” Lloyd asked, turning to face Colette, who once again had a smile on her face.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Nothing!” She answered cheerily, shaking her head. “Just that you haven’t been listening to Professor Raine again…”</i>
</p>
<p>“That’s not my fault! It’s just so <i>hard!”</i></p>
<p>
  <i>And things were once again back to normal.</i>
</p><hr/>
<p>Kratos woke up, more often than not, to Jordan’s singing. The nightingale had never let anything stop his singing.</p>
<p>It had been what attracted his attention in the first place in the monotone halls of the Ranch. A Dæmon that was trapped, but still sang loudly and beautifully of freedom. The song had reached deep within the heart that he had thought long dead to awaken emotions he hadn’t felt in centuries.</p>
<p>It had entranced Lyra as well, drew both of them towards the pair trapped within a dungeon of suffering but yet could still sing of hope.</p>
<p>Anna would become the strongest person he had ever known, with Jordan being the perfect Dæmon to encompass that. Someone who would never let their spirit be broken no matter what was thrown at them. </p>
<p>“He doesn’t stop singing, does he?” Kratos muttered, tugging Anna closer. He didn’t need to sleep, but it was one of his greatest joys to simply let himself fall into a peaceful slumber with Anna at his side.</p>
<p>“You can’t make him,” Anna teased, the content smile on her face highlighting her rosy cheeks and the weight she was starting to regain. </p>
<p>Instead of retorting, he simply silenced her with a kiss, swallowing her protests.</p>
<p>Happiness. He had almost forgotten what it felt like, lost in the memories of Martel’s bright smile and Christopher’s bright feathers, washed away in the blood that had stained the grass that day. </p>
<p>He had committed so many sins and had the blood of countless innocents on his hands. He had believed he would only have Lyra for company for however longer Mithos and Will continued in their madness, for Lyra was just as complicit as him. They were but two murderers, tied together.</p>
<p>He didn’t deserve forgiveness or peace. But here, in the arms of his beloved, with Lyra sleeping peacefully at the bedside and Jordan’s cheerful song washing over him, he could forget about all that had happened in the past. He could simply exist, here and now. </p>
<p>It made him finally glad that his Dæmon had taken the form of a lion. A protector, his mother had whispered, trying to comfort him when he’d been nothing but a distraught child. </p>
<p>Kratos hadn’t felt like he deserved that when he’d been helpless so many times, frozen in horror as he watched those he loves bleed to death before him. Martel, and before that his mother.</p>
<p>But this… This family he had somehow gained, which only grew with the addition of Lloyd and Arielle, was something that he and Lyra would fiercely protect. </p>
<p>On a stormy night, Kratos would leave the house, not knowing that this would be the final time he heard the nightingale sing. </p>
<p>Once again, he failed to protect anything. </p><hr/>
<p>
  <i>It’s nostalgic, almost, to feel Arielle curl up next to her. It reminded Lyra of better days when a still-morphing Arielle had loved to climb and bury herself in Lyra’s coat of fur. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Arielle had settled already, without Lyra there to witness it. Just another thing that she had missed in an endless litany that had been Lloyd's life.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Arielle!” Lloyd called exasperatedly from his spot by the campfire. “Stop bothering Lyra.”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Lloyd was eyeing her nervously like he expected Lyra to bite his head off. That was silly, but he must still be wary of her and Kratos. Not that she could blame Lloyd. To him, they must have been strangers. And she knew her form could be intimidating.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Lloyd had grown up so much. He was no longer the small child who she had comforted with an embrace whenever he had nightmares. The loving touch of a parent’s Dæmon was acceptable, as was any touch spawned out of love instead of malice.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>She couldn’t reach out to him now, no matter how much she wanted to. Neither of them could.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>She didn’t have the right to, not after failing to protect those she loved 14 years ago. Kratos had asked her to stay with Anna and Lloyd, given her ability to go further than any other Dæmon. Becoming an Angel stripped a person and their Dæmon of the majority of the link that tied them to each other. It meant that their relationship was less intimate, but that Lyra could go anywhere she wanted to.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Lyra had followed Kratos’ request until Anna had successfully convinced her to go back to him. After all, Anna had insisted, a person was not at their full strength without their Dæmon, no matter the existence of the full link or not.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>It was a decision she would regret forever, and the smell of blood and the mangled scene that followed would haunt her dreams. Her heart had shattered that day, as she was sure Kratos’ had as well, and it had never healed.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Except it had begun to meld together, just the tiniest bit. Knowing that Lloyd and Arielle were alright had been enough.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>But in the end, all she and Kratos would be able to do was their job. Escort the Chosen, and then disappear forever.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Lloyd and Arielle would hate them forever, but that was to be expected. They deserve nothing less.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>It didn’t matter if they could be happy and safe. That was all that mattered.</i>
</p><hr/>
<p>
  <i>Lloyd couldn’t quite comprehend what had happened. One second the monster had been about to sink its teeth into his arm, and the next he had been knocked to the ground by Lyra, mouth open in a ruthless snarl. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Lloyd could only watch on in shock as the battle raged on, Lyra stoutly protecting him until Kratos hauled him up. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Later, Lloyd would ask Lyra why. Yes, she had saved his life and he was grateful, but she had purposely risked her own and Kratos’ life. If someone’s Dæmon died, that person would die as well. Lyra had even voluntarily touched him when before, both Lyra and Kratos seemed to want Lloyd gone. </i>
</p>
<p><i>Lyra had been as taciturn as ever, giving him non-answers and avoiding the question like she always did. Lloyd was left with no choice but to give up.</i> </p>
<p>
  <i>It’s not like it mattered. He would never see them again after the end of this journey.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Lloyd couldn’t quite chase away the slight feeling of regret that thought brought with it. </i>
</p><hr/>
<p>Julian settled as an owl when Raine was 14 and Genis was 3. They were still running across Sylvarant, trying to find a place to live where they wouldn’t be chased away and treated like monsters. It was such a frantic time that Raine hadn’t dwelled on her Dæmon settling. She was simply thankful that Julian was a diurnal species and was available to help her in the day, and that she wouldn’t have to change her sleep schedule to something akin to a vampire. Timothy seemed to like Julian’s form too, for he enjoyed being carried by Julian into the sky. </p>
<p>Otherwise, Raine had no other concerns over her Dæmon. Julian was her closest companion, the only one apart from Genis and his Dæmon who knew the secret she and Genis were hiding. He had been there for her in the moments when the responsibility of taking care of a child when she was naught but a child herself had gotten too much to handle, when she had felt like giving up. Julian had been Raine’s only support until Genis and Timothy were old enough to begin to understand and take up just a little bit of responsibility. </p>
<p>It was only after Raine and Genis had permanently settled down in Iselia that the fears over Julian’s final form began to hit her. </p>
<p>Even as the memory of her mother began to fade, one detail remained clear in Raine’s mind. Her mother’s Dæmon had been an owl as well. Worse, it was the same breed as Julian had become. </p>
<p>Any similarity Raine bore to her mother made her feel sick. It was bad enough that the face that stared back at her in the mirror undoubtedly belonged to her mother. To realise that something as intimate and life-changing as a Dæmon was the same as well… </p>
<p>It was horrifying for Raine to think that she could be anything like her mother. That perhaps one day, she would simply grow tired of it all and abandon Genis, the same way their parents had abandoned them. </p>
<p>So Raine sought to suppress those thoughts, pushing them away to the deepest corners of her mind while Julian reassured her that things would never turn out that way. After all, Julian told her, surely she could see that she loved her little brother too much to do something like that?</p>
<p>Raine understood that what Julian said was true and that he was the voice of reason. But it wasn’t called an irrational fear for nothing. She couldn’t get it out of her head, no matter what she tried.</p>
<p>But things got even worse when one day, Genis had asked her where their parents were. </p>
<p>
  <i>“Sis should know, right? Your Dæmon’s an owl, so that means you’re all-knowing!”</i>
</p>
<p>Raine had looked into her little brother’s innocent eyes, heart sinking in her chest, and truthfully told him that she didn’t know. There was no lie she could tell. Her little brother had been heartbroken, Timothy along with him. </p>
<p>A few years later, eyes just a little sadder, Genis had asked why their parents had left them here.</p>
<p>Dæmons were supposed to represent a person, weren’t they? To show who they truly were? </p>
<p>An owl was meant to represent knowledge and wisdom. So why was it that, for the one question Raine truly wanted to resolve, she had no answer? </p><hr/>
<p>Martel’s Dæmon had been beautiful. Asriel had been a peacock, and a proud one at that, sticking out among the ragtag group of tired people and Dæmons that Yuan first came across. </p>
<p>Perhaps Yuan and Margot had fallen in love with Martel and Asriel at that very moment. Yuan thought a peacock fit Martel. Inner beauty and strength, which often shone in Martel. It represented her amazingly. </p>
<p>Margot had settled as a crow. From that moment, others had shunned him because he was perceived to bring misfortune, for crows represented bad luck and deception. It was something Yuan had mentioned to Martel once, hesitantly, wondering if she would reject him just like everyone else had. </p>
<p>Martel had laughed and shut him up with a kiss, telling him that he was being silly. She had whispered against his lips that a Dæmon was a representation of yourself, but that only you could decide what it meant. No one was limited by what their Dæmon became. Why let what others said control you?</p>
<p>Martel believed that a Dæmon represented the best of a person.<br/>
And Yuan thought that maybe he could believe that too. That he wasn’t cursed or whatever other names he had been called in the past by cruel people who couldn’t see past his Dæmon’s form. </p>
<p>Yuan had wondered if the day would finally come where he could touch Asriel. The action of touching another person’s Dæmon could only occur if two people truly trusted each other and loved each other. It was a sacred act. Otherwise, it was forbidden. </p>
<p>Instead, the only time Yuan would ever be able to touch Asriel was a final comforting touch as he choked on the scent of blood, powerless to do anything as life left Martel. Martel had tried to comfort Mithos, but Asriel had been quaking. </p>
<p>Dæmons understood your deepest emotions, and it had been heartbreaking to know that Martel was putting on a strong face but was, in fact, terrified. The war was over, so why was this happening?</p>
<p>Yuan had let Mithos be with Martel for her final moments while Yuan had comforted Asriel. And he had watched Asriel fade away into motes of light as Martel had closed her eyes for the final time. </p>
<p>Yuan had never felt more grief and guilt than at that moment, wondering if he could have done anything. He and Margot should have followed Martel and Asriel instead of agreeing to stay behind. And the doubt was back, creeping through the back of his mind. </p>
<p>Had he truly cursed her by being with her? </p>
<p>And in the aftermath, all that was left was a broken boy with a Dæmon that would never settle. Becoming an Angel meant severing the link that held Dæmon and person together in the most excruciating way possible, meaning a Dæmon could go anywhere he or she wanted. Perhaps most people would wish for that if they didn’t know what it felt like. It was terrible. </p>
<p>A Dæmon was supposed to know you better than anyone else, and for that fundamental knowledge to no longer be true was devastating. The basic security that the presence of a Dæmon provided had been stripped away, leaving behind nothing but desolation and loneliness. </p>
<p>And Yuan could do nothing as he watched Mithos fall to the point of no return.</p><hr/>
<p>
  <i>Crows were also a sign of betrayal, weren’t they?</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Ironic, then, that Yuan would have to betray all the people he had once loved. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Would any of them be able to forgive him? It was a question he often mulled upon during quiet moments in his office, trying to drown the intruding thoughts in alcohol that failed to dull his senses.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Once the truth was out, it was unlikely that any of them would be willing to look at him again. One lost to insanity, the other lost to a heart that had turned to stone. And all of them, himself included, were lost to the throes of grief.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>But then again, once the truth was out, Yuan would either be dead or he would have killed those he loved. And that would be akin to killing himself.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>There was no comfort to be found anywhere. Only more heartbreak and misfortune, just like Margot’s form had foretold.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>At least it was useful for reconnaissance. After all, no one would look twice at a crow in a tree.</i>
</p><hr/>
<p>Lloyd never really thought twice about Dæmons. They were something everyone had. It was a basic rule of the world. </p>
<p>And he was thankful that he had Arielle. Someone that would always be there for him, and who he could confide in about anything and everything. She was someone who understood everything he felt without him having to explain. </p>
<p>Somehow, Arielle was even more outgoing than he was. Sometimes to an excessive amount, but that’s what made Arielle Arielle. </p>
<p>Otherwise, he paid little mind to the specifics of Dæmons. He knew they settled and knew the taboo about touching others’ Dæmons, but that was it. So he cared little that Arielle settled as a dog, though he was happy that she liked her form. </p>
<p>He didn’t understand why some people were so concerned with what their Dæmons became. Did it matter all that much? The people around him in Iselia, even Colette, always said that Arielle’s form meant that he was a loyal person. That he was a protector.</p>
<p>But Lloyd didn’t feel that way. Arielle settling as a dog didn’t make him feel any different. He was just… himself. Much in the same way Arielle was still herself, no matter what she settled as.</p>
<p>Lloyd had more important things to worry about. Like Desians, and the journey Colette would one day undertake.</p><hr/>
<p>
  <i>At the Tower of Salvation, Lloyd understood, finally, the disconnect between your Dæmon’s form and who you were.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Lloyd was powerless to do anything, even as he screamed for Colette not to go. He couldn’t imagine a life without her: a life without her smile to brighten up his day, a life where Pan wasn’t there for Arielle to mess around with. Such a life… it seemed like the darkest and dreariest existence possible. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>But still, Lloyd could do nothing as Colette’s voice echoed in his mind and she told him goodbye. His and Arielle’s pleas were in vain, for Colette’s mind had long since been made up. She could offer him nothing more than a sad smile. Pan, having lost his ability to speak, could express nothing.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>His heart clenched painfully in his chest as he watched Remiel snatch Pan from Colette’s desperate grip, pure anguish alighting in her eyes for a split second before they went completely blank. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Nothing could describe how Lloyd felt as he watched Pan fall to the ground, grey and lifeless. It’s wrong. Any Dæmon was supposed to be full of life, especially Pan, who was always in motion, wings flapping as he flew around as a vibrant yellow blur.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Everything was wrong as, in the chaos of their escape from the Tower of Salvation, Lloyd was the one who had to scoop up Pan. He should not be handling someone else’s Dæmon, especially someone as important to him as Colette. It was the grossest breach of trust, but Arielle was no help, seeming to have gone into some kind of shock.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>What’s even worse was that the sense of wrongness was only due to his knowledge of the taboo. There was no instinctual feeling of wrongness, as it doesn’t feel like he’s holding an extension of someone’s soul or even a living creature. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>He’s wondered many times what it would like to touch Pan, but it shouldn’t be like this.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>He doesn’t have much time to dwell on how Pan laid in his hands like a dead animal until after the ensuing chaos at the Renegade base. Until finally, free to sit down on the bed in the inn of Meltokio, Lloyd could think over everything that had happened. </i>
</p>
<p><i>There’s a bitter taste in his mouth as he recalled the praise the villagers of Iselia had heaped on him. He was meant to protect others, huh? He hadn’t managed to protect Colette at all. He had unknowingly, but willingly, led her to the Tower where she had sacrificed herself.</i> </p>
<p>
  <i>It was a miracle that Colette was still here, still alive. So Lloyd would work to keep it that way and to find some way to free her soul and reconnect her and Pan. </i>
</p>
<p><i>“Hey, Arielle,” Lloyd whispered to his Dæmon, who he knew was hiding under the bed right now. Arielle had been jumpy ever since the events of the Tower and seemed to refuse to face anyone, even Lloyd. Shame, perhaps? Lloyd could understand what it felt like. They had</i> both <i>failed.</i> </p>
<p>
  <i>“I know that… it feels like you don’t deserve your form right now. That we’re powerless. But there’s nothing else we can do but try. If we try, then… then maybe…” Lloyd closed his eyes, knowing that if Colette could, she would be encouraging him right now. “Maybe we’ll become worthy someday.”</i>
</p><hr/>
<p>
  <i>Colette sobbed, cradling Pan as close as possible like she was trying to fuse them into one.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>When her soul had been sealed away, Colette had finally experienced what it meant to be well and truly alone. She had screamed and cried in the darkness, and for the first time, there had been no response. Because Pan wasn’t there, and therefore there had been no one. No one to comfort her, to listen to her, to accept her no matter who she was or what she became. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Loneliness. That was true loneliness. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>The only thing that had kept her sane was listening to Lloyd’s voice and the things he would tell her: whether it be the events of that day, Lloyd’s thoughts, or what he felt at the moment. Arielle would tune in sometimes, too. She was mostly just trying to annoy Lloyd, but it added an important element of normalcy. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>She wanted, so desperately, to reply. To tell him what she thought, to comfort him, tell him that everything wasn’t his fault. It had been her choice, her duty, to sacrifice herself. </i>
</p>
<p><i>Except it wasn’t, was it? It had all been a lie. She had caused Lloyd so much pain and ripped apart her bond with Pan for nothing more than a lie.</i> </p>
<p>
  <i>Finally free and able to move again, the first thing Colette had done was try to find Pan. It had been terrifying, as for just one split second, she had been unable to sense his presence and had thought him well and truly gone.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Pan had flown into her hands, then, and she hadn’t let go since. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>She’s afraid to let go. Afraid that if she did, Pan would disappear like he was never here. Their bond had been shattered and then rebuilt, but it would never be as strong as before. And Pan should -</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“I don’t hate you,” Pan whispered, nuzzling closer. “I never could. I’ll always be your Dæmon, no matter what.” </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>And Colette only cried harder, happiness warming her heart. </i>
</p><hr/>
<p>Genis had never liked the forms Timothy took. Timothy hardly ever morphed away from a rabbit, and that only made Genis feel more vulnerable. </p>
<p>Rabbits were prey, meant to be hunted for sport or entertainment, much the same way half-elves were treated here in Sylvarant. He and Raine would never be able to erase their half-elf blood, which meant they would always have to live with an underlying sense of fear. </p>
<p>Genis <i>hated</i> that.</p>
<p>Everything just made Genis feel weaker, but he wasn’t going to bring it up with Timothy. If Timothy felt safer that way, then Genis had no right to ask Timothy to change.</p>
<p>Genis just hoped that someday, he would stop feeling so scared. That maybe Timothy could feel confident enough to take some other form and stop hiding in the shrubbery all the time. </p>
<p>But that was just a useless, hopeless dream, wasn’t it? Things had been like this for who knows how long. How would anything ever change?</p><hr/>
<p>Mithos didn’t cry easily, something that worried Martel. To her, tears were hard to come by after years of witnessing the carnage of war and all the devastation it wrought. Somewhere along the way, the tears had simply dried up. </p>
<p>But Mithos was still a child. He shouldn’t be used to the horrors of war, and Martel hated that the world had forced him to be that way. Forced him to grow up so quickly that he’d lost his only chance of being a child. </p>
<p>The one thing that reassured her was the excited manner in which Mithos asked when Will would settle. It was such a… <i>mundane</i> question, something children loved to ask. It was cute, honestly, to see her little brother show such childlike excitement. </p>
<p>Mithos had told her that he wanted to know who he was. Martel had teased him that he just needed to be patient. She had wondered whether to tell him that there was no need to pay such close attention to the form of his Dæmon but decided against it. She would let Mithos have his fun. He deserved it. </p>
<p>But Will would never settle. </p>
<p>And the first time Martel saw Mithos cry again would be the day she died. She had tried so hard to comfort him that day, to tell him that he would be alright. Despite the terrible events of the war, the two siblings had gained a family and one that Martel would forever be thankful for. Even though she would have to leave him that day, Mithos wouldn’t be alone with just Will for company. </p>
<p>And Martel could only watch as everything went wrong. Watch as Mithos drifted away from everyone, even Will, slowly sinking further into insanity, clutching onto any attempt to revive her. Martel was all alone, knowing that Asriel was somewhere but unable to find him. </p>
<p>And Will would never settle, for Mithos had frozen his clock. That excited question he had once asked would never be answered. </p>
<p>
  <i>“It’s alright. Everything will be alright once we're together again. Right, Sis?”</i>
</p>
<p>Martel could only watch in growing desperation and grief as all those that she loved continued to get more and more blood on their hands. Where had it all gone wrong? </p><hr/>
<p>
  <i>“Your Dæmon’s a boy too,” Mithos muttered, watching Timothy chase after Will. They were both butterflies now, wings sparkling in the sunlight as they fluttered through the sky above the flowers in Altessa’s garden.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Like yours. It’s rare for anyone to have a Dæmon of the same gender as themselves. What’s the probability both of us do?” </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“So rare I don’t want to calculate it.” The corner of Mithos’ mouth quirked up into a smile, sending a current of warmth down Genis’ side. “It’s something else we have in common. How strange.”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>It was nice to have a friend his age that was also a half-elf. Genis was glad that coming to Tethealla had allowed him to meet such a special individual, even if the actual circumstances were terrible. He had thought he would never meet someone who had the same experiences.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Now he had gained a friend who understood how he felt and that he wouldn’t outlive.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Genis continued to watch their two Dæmons and observed Will flying even further away, almost to the limit that a Dæmon could reach from its counterpart.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>In the coming days, Genis would realise that this was something Will repeatedly did. Confused, he would ask Mithos why Will always flew so far away from Mithos, always at the limit of the bond a person and Dæmon shared. Did it not hurt?</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Mithos would shrug in response, answering that it was something Will had always done and that the two of them were simply used to it. There had been something raw and vulnerable in Mithos’ expression that made Genis uneasy, but he didn’t dare question Mithos on it. It seemed like something too private to ask.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Genis couldn’t understand why any Dæmon would consistently try to test the limit of their bond given how much it hurt. That bond was something to be treasured, for it meant your Dæmon was still there. A consistent companion meant you would never be alone.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Then again, he’d seen stranger things. Humans lost in the ranches, the bond between them and their Dæmon completely severed, leaving both looking like grey ghosts. It was cruel, for no person could survive without their Dæmon.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Then there was Tabatha, who didn’t have a Dæmon at all. It was unnatural, and almost unnerving sometimes. But she was just as alive as any of them.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>So maybe there wasn’t anything too strange about a Dæmon who seemed to want to be free from the person they were bonded to. It was something he didn’t understand about Mithos, but he wouldn’t question it.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Genis never connected that the savage wolf by Yggdrasill’s side was the same being as the beautiful, fragile butterfly that flew next to Mithos. Not until it was too late.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>The final time Genis sees Mithos, it is only a remnant of him, fading fast. Will is but a spectre, a beautiful butterfly with the same rainbow wings as Mithos.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>And somehow, Genis feels like Will has finally settled. At long last, they are both free.</i>
</p><hr/>
<p>The first time Sheena met Zelos was the only time she would see him genuinely scared for years to come. He had physically flinched and even gone pale as a sheet, his Dæmon wrapping herself around his arm like it was trying to hide from Sheena. </p>
<p>Zelos never reacted the same way again, but he always seemed nervous when they met up for the first few times. The way both Zelos and Martha’s gaze would stray towards her Dæmon occasionally didn’t go unnoticed.</p>
<p>She didn’t understand what about Martin was so special or terrifying. Martin had settled earlier than most when Sheena was just 12. He’d settled as a wildcat, something Sheena was thankful for. There were members of Mizuho who were unable to become ninjas despite their training for the sole reason that their Dæmons were unsuitable. That was simply the cruel reality since one couldn’t control what their Dæmons would settle as, and one’s Dæmon could never leave one’s side.</p>
<p>It was something Grandpa would have praised her for, but Grandpa wasn’t here to do that. And that was Sheena’s fault. </p>
<p>The isolation from the villagers and the loneliness she experienced was something she had brought upon herself for failing to form a pact with Volt. She deserves nothing less for all the innocent lives that had been ended that day and the harm that had been inflicted on Grandpa. </p>
<p>She had failed, and that was all that mattered. At least she would never be fully alone, for Martin was always with her. They could commiserate in their guilt. </p>
<p>For just 2 short years, Zelos and Martha became part of her world as well. It had been an incredible feeling, for her and Martin to not be entirely alone anymore. For there to be a friend that she could confide in and trust. </p>
<p>It had taken time, but Zelos eventually got accustomed to seeing Martin. And Martin loved playing with Martha. Her Dæmon had never gotten much chance to play with other Dæmons, given how no one would approach her in Mizuho, and no one in Meltokio even wanted to get close to her.</p>
<p>And then Zelos Wilder had shattered her heart with a cruel smile and a nonchalant shrug. She had handed over her heart with reckless abandon, and he hadn’t valued it. It had meant nothing to him.</p>
<p>And Sheena was left alone with just Martin again, left to cry over all the people who had left her life. Martin was, clearly, the only one she could trust to stay by her side. That, and her newfound companion, Corinne. </p>
<p>
  <i>“I shouldn’t have expected anything better from a person with a snake for a Dæmon.”</i>
</p>
<p>That wasn’t something fair to say. Grandpa had told her that a Dæmon didn’t necessarily dictate who you were. It may show aspects of your personality, but it didn’t control you. A person could always change. </p>
<p>She would regret saying that to his face for years to come but didn’t know how to ever bring it up again. Not when she couldn’t talk to Zelos without him and Martha ridiculing her. Every interaction with them after only served to enrage her until she had no choice but to avoid them. </p>
<p>Still, Sheena would never be able to forget the split second of hurt that had flickered across his face before vanishing as if it had never been there.</p><hr/>
<p>
  <i>The night before their ascent into the Tower of Salvation, Zelos disappeared from his inn room.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>The entire journey into Flanoir, Zelos had been withdrawn and quiet, a large contrast to his usual abrasive self. Martha had seemed almost shy, avoiding contact with any of the other Dæmons like she usually did, instead spending her time wrapped around Zelos’ arm. Every few minutes, Martha would flinch like she was recoiling away from Zelos, which made no sense. Sheena had never known of a Dæmon that was physically repulsed by their counterpart's touch.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>It reminded her of their behaviour when she and Zelos had just met. But why would he be acting like this now? It worried her, and she couldn’t leave him alone. Not after all the tragic events of the night and the growing suspicion that she couldn’t quite put her finger on.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Sheena found him easily by following his tracks in the snow. Martin could have easily sniffed Zelos out, but this saved him the trouble.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>And under the falling snow, she would finally tell him what she had bottled up for years.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Snakes aren’t just about deceit. In Mizuhoan culture, they represent the duality of good and evil. You choose what you do and who you become. Remember that, OK?”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>It was an apology she had owed him. The way society automatically characterised people by their Dæmons was something Mizuho had always railed against, and yet she had stooped to that despicable level in her anger. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Faced with a still impassive Zelos and with Martha not meeting her eyes, Sheena could only hope that, somehow, the message had gotten through.</i>
</p><hr/>
<p>Regal’s Dæmon settled rather late as a mountain goat when he’s 16. His family seemed rather confused, with his Father finally concluding that it was rather meek, but at least nothing depraved.  </p>
<p>Alicia’s Dæmon had been a canary. Cheery and hopeful, just like her. Despite striking out alone to a big city, she had never let that get her down. She had remained smiling and been a bright spot in his dreary life. </p>
<p>He had wanted to protect that beautiful smile, hoping Alicia would remain in his life. But of course, that wouldn’t be the case.</p>
<p>Regal had watched Alicia die in his arms, still smiling and trying to comfort him, like the kind person she inherently was. Ariana had been bleating in distress, trying to get Oliver to respond. </p>
<p>But there was nothing Regal could do. It was far too late. He couldn’t save Alicia, and her blood was on his hands.</p>
<p>Years later, he would recognise Alicia’s image in Presea. An almost lifeless girl with the same pink hair and blue eyes, trailed by a Dæmon who didn’t seem to register anything around him. Another tragic victim to Rodyle’s Exsphere experiments, who had lost 16 years of her life and didn’t even know it. </p>
<p>Her Dæmon had somehow settled in those 16 years. A swan, elegant and graceful. Something that Presea couldn’t seem to accept, just as much as she initially denied the death of her sister. </p>
<p>Regal had heard a story, once when he was young, about how a goat was sacrificed to absolve sin. Perhaps it was a sign that Ariana had settled as a goat. He hoped, then, that Presea could get her revenge. He didn’t deserve to live with all the sins he carried on his back that could only be absolved by paying his life. Surely, that would make Presea feel better. What better resolution could she receive than the death of her sister’s murderer?</p>
<p>But, in the end, Presea didn’t bring down that axe. </p>
<p>And Regal was forced to live on, shouldering the sin he had committed and the hopes that Alicia had once held. To die would be to let down Alicia, for he would never be able to make up for anything he had done in death.</p>
<p>
  <i>“A goat represents an opportunity. An opportunity to move forward, and become more.”</i>
</p>
<p>Those were the final words Alicia told him before Presea shattered her exsphere forever. </p>
<p>It had been that simple, all along.</p>
<p>And Regal would do his absolute best to protect this world, innocents and Presea in honour of her sister. </p>
<p>Regal hoped that, someday, Presea would be able to accept herself for who she was. </p><hr/>
<p>
  <i>“Martha! Stop hiding in the cups!” Zelos yelled, scanning the kitchen exasperatedly.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Hiding again, is she?” Sheena elbowed her husband, watching his predicament with amusement. “You know she likes it because of how warm it is.” </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Found her!” Martin announced, marching into the kitchen carefully holding Martha between two paws. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Let go of me!” Martha complained, struggling half-heartedly against Martin’s grip. “Am I not allowed to have a nap?”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Very funny, Martha. You’ve been sleeping the whole afternoon. Now come over here, I need your venom!” </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Sheena leaned against the kitchen counter, content to watch Zelos bicker good-naturedly with his Dæmon while Martin egged them on. Zelos was so much more at ease now, happy with himself and his Dæmon. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Everything was alright, and things could only get better. </i>
</p><hr/>
<p>
  <i>“Hello, Genis.” Presea waved in greeting, a small smile on her face that Genis was glad to see. It showed him that Presea was learning to express herself better. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Brandon, flapping his wings, honked in greeting, leading Timothy to gently butt him in the head. Thankfully not too hard. Even as a small antelope, Timothy still had enough strength to potentially push Brandon into the canal next to the Altamira Amusement Park. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Not that it would be a disaster, since Brandon was a swan. But the problem would be getting Brandon out of the water without Presea also having to get in the water. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“How long are you stopping off for?” Presea asked, one watchful eye on Brandon, who was now running awkward circles around Timothy. Brandon is a lot more animated now than he was years ago, just as Presea now seemed much more alive.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Just today. Then I’m heading to Exire to visit my mother with Raine,” Genis replied, gently patting Brandon on the head. “I’m sorry that I can’t stay longer. But enough about me. What about you? How are you doing?”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Presea’s smile grew brighter as she turned to look at the bright lights of Altamira, the wind now whipping her long pink hair around. She’d grown, no longer frozen as a child who didn’t understand what had happened to her and why, able to enjoy the world.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>And even if both of their Dæmons had settled, they were still young and free to explore this world. They were free to find out who they were, not held back by the restrictions of society. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Everyone was free to find out the meaning their Dæmon’s held, for people would always change. No one was static. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Good. Everything’s good.”</i>
</p><hr/>
<p>Somehow, amid their journey, they had ended up in Flanoir again. Given that Flanoir had only one inn, it wasn’t odd that they had ended up in the same room that Lloyd had stayed in the last time they were here. </p>
<p>Not that Lloyd particularly cared about the details right now. Without the weight of the world hanging on his shoulders, he could simply stand on the balcony and enjoy the night. </p>
<p>And he could freely admire Colette, who was standing next to him with Pan resting on her shoulder, cheeks flushed from the cold and a red scarf wrapped around her neck. She had a hand stretched out into the night sky, eagerly catching snowflakes like it was her first time seeing snow. It wasn’t, but her excitement was contagious. </p>
<p>That excitement was encouraging Arielle to roll around in the snow at his feet, but that was a problem to be dealt with at another time. After all, it was difficult to do much now other than stare at Colette. She was beautiful like this, outlined by the light from the stars and looking so at ease when just a year before, she had seemed reluctant to let herself freely enjoy the world. </p>
<p>Without much thought, Lloyd reached out his hand, pausing just above Pan’s head. It was reminiscent of the many times he had reached out to touch Pan, only to realise and stop himself. </p>
<p>Lloyd had learned, over time, that touching another person’s Dæmon wasn’t always taboo. It was simply… Well, incredibly intimate. Unwanted touches could cause damage, and that wasn’t what he wanted to achieve. He would never forget the pain that Remiel had caused, and Lloyd promised he would never let that happen to anyone he loved, least of all Colette. She had suffered enough. </p>
<p>He lets out a single breath that crystallises before his eyes, meeting Colette’s gaze. It was like she knew what he wanted to do, having turned to face him directly. And with gravity, she nodded as Pan chirped his approval. </p>
<p>Gingerly, he placed his hand on Pan’s head, gently ruffling his feathers.</p>
<p>He would never forget the expression on Colette’s face. The wonder, the joy and the love.</p><hr/>
<p>How could she ever explain it? The sensation of your Dæmon being touched by a hand that is not yours.</p>
<p>From young, she had always been taught that the touch of another was taboo. She had realised why, when upon Remiel laying his hands on Pan, the only thing she had felt was excruciating pain. Like someone was stabbing a knife straight into her heart and twisting.</p>
<p>But she had finally learned that it was the intention behind the touch that mattered. And she knew what Lloyd’s intention was, standing there among the snow in Flanoir with her. Surely, he was driven by the same emotion that filled her whenever Lloyd took her hands, whenever Lloyd smiled at her, whenever Lloyd was with her. The emotion that made her feel giddy and light, which made both her and Pan perk up whenever Lloyd and Arielle were in the vicinity, that made her incredibly happy to still be alive in this world so that she could experience all of it with him. </p>
<p>Colette was unable to stop the shudder that ran down her back as Lloyd caressed Pan’s head. It was a beautiful feeling.</p>
<p>To know that you were loved, for all and everything that you were.</p>
<p>
  <b>~fin~</b>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Chapter 2 is once again just notes on this particular AU. I went on a wild hunt across the Internet about the symbolism of different animals, so that's included in Chapter 2 if you're curious to find out. </p>
<p>Otherwise, thank you for reading this! Hope you enjoyed it!<br/><a href="https://twitter.com/Umbry2000">Twitter</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Notes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>As I mentioned before, here be notes, mostly on the symbolism of the animals chosen.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><span class="u">About Dæmons in General</span><br/>
You can check out the <a href="https://hisdarkmaterials.fandom.com/wiki/D%C3%A6mon">wiki page</a>! I used my own personal interpretation of Dæmons and the judgements an already prejudiced society would place on a person. I'm not quite sure if this ever happens in His Dark Materials because it's been years since I read the books.<br/>
I believe the taboo involving touching another person's Dæmon is a lot stricter in His Dark Materials?<br/>
Also, a Dæmon is usually of the opposite gender (i.e. a boy will have a female Dæmon). Having a same-sex Dæmon is very rare.</p><p><span class="u">Abou Dæmon Separation</span><br/>
In His Dark Materials, witches can separate from their Dæmons by going to some remote land without their Dæmon. So I made the Angelic transformation do the same thing, but all at once so it's excruciating.<br/>
Also, the Dæmon separation experiments that are performed in His Dark Materials are performed in the Human Ranches.</p><p><span class="u">Lloyd</span><br/>
Arielle settles as a Labrador (because Marsh requested this particular breed). Dogs represent loyalty.</p><p><span class="u">Colette</span><br/>
Pan is named after Pantalaimon from His Dark Materials. There is no yellow hummingbird, unfortunately. The closest would be a male rufous hummingbird, which has a yellow patch on its neck. Hummingbirds represent love and joy.</p><p><span class="u">Genis</span><br/>
Initially, Timothy takes the form of a Holland Lop (because my pet rabbit is a Holland Lop and I am biased). Rabbits are jumpy, so I used it to represent vulnerability and fear. 
In the end, Timothy settles as a Dik-dik (because @itsraeningcats insisted I include one), which is a species of small antelope. Initially, I wanted to make it a horse, to represent freedom and free-spirited, but I guess you can apply that to the antelope too.</p><p><span class="u">Raine</span><br/>
Julian takes the form of a Northern Pygmy-Owl, a diurnal owl. An owl represents wisdom and knowledge.</p><p><span class="u">Presea</span><br/>
Brandon settles as a swan, specifically a trumpeter swan. Swans represent elegance and grace.</p><p><span class="u">Regal</span><br/>
Ariane settles as a mountain goat. Goats are used as sacrifices in different religions. However, goats can also represent new opportunities.</p><p><span class="u">Zelos</span><br/>
Martha is named after the female snake on Hermes’ caduceus in Percy Jackson. Martha is a snake, specifically a black mamba. Generally, snakes represent deceit and lies. However, in Japanese culture, snakes are often used to represent the duality of good and evil.<br/>
Mylene Wilder (Zelos’ mother) has a tabby cat as a Dæmon. Yes, the tabby cat is based on the run-ending Purugly in Pokemon Platinum. I have been watching too many Pokemon Nuzlockes.<br/>
Zelos’ father has a tiger for a Dæmon. Tigers are associated with strength and courage.</p><p><span class="u">Sheena</span><br/>
Martin takes the form of a wildcat, specifically a Southern African wildcat. Cats themselves are associated with a difficulty in trusting, magic, and even healing.</p><p><span class="u">Alicia</span><br/>
Alicia’s Dæmon is a canary. Canaries represent happiness and selflessness.</p><p><span class="u">Martel</span><br/>
Asriel is a peacock. A peacock represents integrity, and can also symbolise guidance, protection and watchfulness.</p><p><span class="u">Mithos</span><br/>
Will is named after William Parry (nicknamed Will) from His Dark Materials. Will takes the form of a wolf by Yggdrasill’s side mostly for intimidation purposes. Wolves can represent the strength of spirit and also aggression.<br/>
Otherwise, Will likes to stay as a butterfly even though he hasn’t settled. There isn’t a butterfly with rainbow wings but I just like the image. Butterflies represent metamorphosis and change.</p><p><span class="u">Yuan</span><br/>
Yuan’s Dæmon is a crow! Which represents deception and deceit but also represents intelligence and mischievousness. In many different cultures, the crow is a proponent of misfortune.</p><p><span class="u">Kratos</span><br/>
Lyra is named after Lyra Silvertongue from His Dark Materials. A lion is a symbol of strength and protection, especially in Eastern culture where lions are seen as protectors. There are many statues of lions or lion-like statues before traditional temples.</p><p><span class="u">Anna</span><br/>
Christopher is a nightingale, a breed of singing bird. It represents virtue and goodness.</p><p>This information is mostly scrounged from totem and spirit animal websites and Googling.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading this! Hope you enjoyed it!<br/><a href="https://twitter.com/Umbry2000">Twitter</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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